Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Bad Ad - Part II

Around two weeks ago, I talked about spam email. Obviously, spam email isn't the only kind of bad ad in this world. As a matter of fact, they don't really bother me: Gmail effectively filters out 99% of them, so they don't even have a chance to reach my inbox. There IS some ad that really bothers me though.

As I mentioned in an old post, I listen to the Mark and Brian radio program every morning on my way to UCLA. There is an ad about a LASIK doctor named Charles that drives me nuts. Whoever designed the ad should be tortured by listening to the ad 100 times a day for a year. Why do I hate the ad so much? Here's why:
  • The ad claims that Charles is the best. This is ultimate bullshit. Any ad that says that their product or service is the best is bullshit. What do you mean by the "best"? In what ways? You're the best because your patient never complains? Or you're the best because you use cutting edge LASIK technology? And, how do you know that you're the best? The ad says that Charles is the best in the west coast. Alright, tell me, how many LASIK doctors are there in west coast? Have you compared every LASIK doctor in the west coast with Charles? If not, do you just think that you're the best? I mean, even an elementary school student would know that it is nonsense. Or they're targeting preschool students??

  • The ad refers other LASIK doctors as "cheap LASIK guys". Yeah, the guy in the ad says something like
    "Do you think that I'll use the service from those cheap LASIK guys? No way, no one should touch my eyes, no one should touch your eyes except Charles"
    Alright, even if you're the best, you don't refer to your competitors as "cheap" people. You want to beat your competitors and get their business, but it doesn't mean that you would disrespect them. Insulting your competitors only hurts your reputation and drives your customers away.

  • The ad repeatedly says that there're only 27 free exams. And the problem is that the ad is broadcasted everyday. It says something like
    "There're only 27 exams for 27 listeners, so you must call NOW"
    Monday, there're 27 exams. Tuesday, there're 27 exams. Friday, there're still 27 exams. What does that tell me? Two possibilities:

    • No one is taking their free exams
    • The number 27 is total bullshit

    If the first possibility is true, they're idiots because they tell the listeners that no single person is interested in taking their exam. If the second possibility is true, they're assuming that we're idiots since they think that the listeners won't be smart enough to figure out the number 27 is bogus. Either way, they're still idiots.

  • The ad repeats their 1(877) numbers 3 times in a row. I know you want the listeners to remember your number so that they may call you to take one of your 27 exams. But, do you know that your ad is broadcasted at almost the exact same time every morning? So, the people who're not interested in doing LASIK are forced to remember a series of meaningless numbers, and, the worst thing is, some dork shouts these numbers to them at least 3 times a day (sometimes the ad is broadcasted more than once in the morning). God, if some dumbass is interested in taking your eye exam, he has the ability to remember it even if you mention it once.
This ad irritates me to that point that I would switch my car stereo system to CD mode for one minute just to avoid listening to it. All the ad designers/producers, would you please
  1. Don't be an idiot
  2. Don't assume that your potential customers are idiots
  3. Respect your competitors
  4. Respect your potential customers' privacy
Mark and Brian, if you're reading this, would you take off this ad somehow? (-___- )